Fess Up - Cherophobia Lyrics

When I close my eyes I don't even see darkness anymore
It's all grey and overcast as it washes over me
I feel the people I once called my friends slowly drift away
And the space between us is growing greater with every passing day

I can't go to therapy
I can't take my meds
'Cause this is all I've ever known
And I'm afraid of happiness

Cherophobia
(What if I lose myself)
Cherophobia
(Although I hate myself)
Please try and understand
It's not me, it's just my head

And sometimes I think the most activity my brain ever gets
Is my amygdala when I'm begging you to leave me by myself
I've got my suitcase packed in such a way of hoping what you'll think
Is that I just left, I didn't go missing, I just never did come back

I can't go to therapy
I can't take my meds
'Cause this is all I've ever known
And I'm afraid of happiness

Cherophobia
(What if I lose myself)
Cherophobia
(Although I hate myself)
Please try and understand
It's not me, it's just my head

I can't go to therapy
I can't take my meds
'Cause this is all I've ever known
And I'm afraid of happiness

Cherophobia
(What if I lose myself)
Cherophobia
(Although I hate myself)
Please try and understand
It's not me, it's just my head