Plea of Insanity - Waking Nightmare Lyrics

Clench my teeth as my blood boils
I press my ear against the door
Try to tread the higher ground
Resenting my envy over this transgression
Fictional reality
Scenes unfold in front of me
I know this is just a dream
But I must see how it ends

Who am I
Where was I
Was it real or in my mind?
Hours lost
No recollection
Fractured memories replay
Am I searching
For something
Or running away?

The glasslike fragility
Of memory and identity
The ground is slowly falling
From underneath my feet

Collapse
Under the weight of guilt
Drowning
In a sea of betrayal
But how do you let yourself feel guilt for the worst thing you never did?
It might be self delusion and me on the other side of the door

I'm still dreaming
I won't be there after this
Blurring lines
In between
Fiction and reality
The voice I'm hearing
Sounds like mine - is it
Dialogue or soliloquy?
I know this is
Just a dream
But I must see
How it ends

Collapse
Under the weight of guilt
Relapse
It's happening again
Watching myself from a third person view like someone else is pulling the strings
Am I Indulging in a fantasy or denying what I really am?

At the base of the citadel
Scaling the wall to infinity
Embodiment of a personal hell
A taunting colossus stares down at me
If this is all just a dream
Does it matter how it ends?

Every night I'm back again
Effigy of my worst nightmares
If this is all just a dream
Does it matter how it ends?

Metaphysical metaphor
An endless obstacle to climb
If this is all just a dream
Does it matter how it ends?

Collapse
Relapse
Who was I then?
Who am I now?
Which part of me is the lie?

Hours lost
No recollection
Fractured memories replay
Am I searching
For something
Or running away?
Blurring lines
In between
Fiction and reality
The voice I'm hearing
Sounds like mine - is it
Dialogue or soliloquy?

Scaling an endless wall
To escape the prison of my mind
A futile endeavor
This is the part that goes on forever

Perception
Coming to a screeching halt
And as the end draws near
I know it was all my fault
As my face smashes through the glass and my life flashes before my eyes
I try to hold on to my conscious mind because I need to see what's on the other side

I won't be there
Self deception
The words I'm hearing sound like mine
Vicarious
Indulgence
It was me the whole time
Wishing
Lusting
Dreaming
Making it real
In my thoughts or in my deeds
Shamed for what I might have done
Real or not
Either way
It's a nightmare
I can't wake up from