Babysitting sucks but whatever they got junk food, kung fu, egg fu, Dig Dug, a dog
And a hot Jew, Mr. Weintraub, I mean he's old but not dimed out
If I'm bad I'll turn around in the corner for Time Out
Aight Josh what you want to do? You want to watch cartoons?
HBO got Platoon, hey get back in the room!
I assume your folks are gonna be out late, go make me cool Aid
I'm a sit on the couch and masturbate then call my boyfriend Gabe and see if he ate
Spit out my Bubbalicious and get to one of them big fridges that could fit 10 midgets
Damn they're rich, hey she left me fifty dishes-bitch!
Let's try on ya mom's minks think she'll miss these Chanel links?
In high heels you look like Jar Jar Binks- go play under the sink
(I want my mommy and daddy!) I want your daddy as well
But if you tell, you'll die of sickle cell and God told me you're goin straight to hell
Well if you don't like it I can leave and then you'll be alone believe me that's what the
creepy monsters want
Plus I'll be taking your TV
Put on your jammers and don't wet the bed I got a camera
I'll take a picture and show that little girl you like Sarah
Oh and one more thing- there's been several mass murderers spotted in the area
I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower, Woo! I'm makin 6 bucks an hour
Let's make Fluffernutters don't fuckin utter another peep
I'll take the cookie cutter make star cookies outta ya skin while you sleep
Keep still, I gotta check the bathroom cabinet hey what are these pills?
I'll take the Valium Josh you take a bag and the Tagament
Stop throwin up I'm not paid enough you clean up the rug
Is that Fluff? I told you 6 boxes of unmade Jell-O was too much All right kid you gotta go to
bed, I know its only 6 but my boy just came over and he wants me to give him head
Sit his bare ass on the couch where you watch Small Wonder
Next time you see Vicky the spot'll be sticky 'cause I sucked his dicky and used your mom's
Don't worry I'll put it back in the Frigidaire
Scared? You can have it for supper nice and crisp in the Tupperware
No bedtime story, Gabe get off you're so horny!
Josh get in bed and Freddie Krueger might let you see your mom in the mornin
No porn and shut the shade Gabe-
One day you'll know how nice it is to get laid while you gettin paid
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by Craig Bohmler, Julie Hill