Stick Martin - Stella Killed Stanly Lyrics

Wind blows, a garden grows after a cold and deadly winter
Stella picks tomatoes for her and Stanley's dinner
In the garden all day long with work and weeds and toil
But it's Stella's only love, the tomatoes from the soil
Returning from the garden, walking through the kitchen door
Annoyed she finds Stanley's socks discarded on the floor
She asked him please to clean the house, he disobeyed her wishes
And on the kitchen table she sees some dirty dishes
Stanley snores upon the couch in front of the TV
She didn't know when they were young that this where he's to be
Stella stops a moment and thinks how marriage traps
I cook and clean and work all day, while Stanley only naps
The socks go in the hamper, the dishes in the sink
Tomatoes tasted, ten years wasted, it happened in a blink
Stella knew it had to end the question was how long
The tension grew and Stanley knew that there was something wrong

Oh Stanley knew that something was wrong

Seemed to Stanley, Stella's been acting quite bizarre
Avoiding confrontation he goes to work upon his car
A '69 Chevelle, custom painted primer black
He toiled changed the oil by the garden in the back
But when Stanley walked back towards the house he knocked the pan of oil
An onyx river flowed into the precious garden soil
Harming the tomatoes, the harvest would be spoiled
Stella watches from the kitchen, her blood begins to boil
Stanley knew he was in trouble as he stepped in through the door
Stella whacks him with a rolling pin, he crashes to the floor
Stanley holds his bloody head and before there's time to think
Stella grabs the toaster sitting over by the sink
She wraps the cord 'round Stanley's neck in her eyes a crazy stare
Her makeshift noose, she won't let loose, 'till Stanley's out of air
After several strangling minutes Stanley slumps onto the floor
It's not my fault though, Stella thought, I couldn"t take no more!

My story's true, I'm telling you that

I don't know where Stanley went, but I can guess at least
He's run off with a mistress, Stella said to the police
Funny, said Officer Murphy, as he puffed on his cigar
I always thought if Stanley left he'd rightly take his car
Stella stops uneasy, while at the car she stares
Then she thinks of Stanley, the garden gets a glare
She remembers then the toaster and the rolling pin that night
"Say, said Officer Murphy, "those tomatoes look mighty ripe!"

Oh Stanley knew, my story's true Tomatoes grew in the garden again