Dave Taylor - Blame it on the Male Menopause Lyrics

Don't blame it on the weather why I'm crying in my beer
Don't blame it on my old hound dog that said "woof, I'm outa here
Don't blame it on the words of this old country song I sang
Don't blame it on my woman that took away my everythang
And don't blame it on that passenger train that took my woman that was carrying
My everythang away
And left me here drowning my here and now in my used to be

I'll tell you the reason that I'm drinking whiskey, beer and wine my friend
And I'll tell you the reason why I'm slowly going round the bend
I'll tell you why I fergit everythang that comes into my head
I even fergit to remember to fergit the next line of this song, so I'll have to make
Up some garbage instead
So I went to see my doctor and said "help me, doc oh why
Am I in this state I'm in and this was his reply, and he said

Blame it on the male menopause. He's small and he's hairy with sharp teeth and claws
And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause
When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you in the (Shhhh !you know where
I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me
He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be
Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee

I looked under the floorboards, behind the TV and the chaise longe
Thought I heard him up in the roof or maybe I was wrong
No there he goes agin, so maybe I was right
That mangy critter that makes me nee to go to the baithroom in the middle of the night
He gives me those hot flushes, yes a mayern can git them too you see
And I still can't find that ornery dawg that done this thang to me

So I'll just blame it on the male menopause
And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause
When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you in the teeth
I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me
He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be
Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee

I went to see this woman, and I took my doctor's note
She said she was a counsellor, musta worked for the council I suppose
She put on a CD by some guy called Enya, and bid me to confide
She said "Tell me all about it dear, let me put you in touch with your feminine side

But when she heard my story she burst into tears and charged me £35 plus vat
Said if you can't cope with the change of life then try a change of key

Blame it on the male menopause
And I'm gonna get that littlesonofabitch, just because he's the cause
When yer git ter fifty doesn't life just kick you where it hurts
I'm gonna hunt him down and weed him out, because it's plain to me
He's the reason that I'm not the mayern I used to be
Diddle ay hee o yay hee oh yay hee