Lucky Doug Fergus - Buy My Book Lyrics

Doesn't anybody ever read anymore
Doesn't anybody ever turn a page

It's three o'clock on a Saturday morning
I'm trying to think of a hot opening line
I awoke from rapid eye movement
Full of inspiration but now I forget
I always feel cheated I don't remember my dreams

I'm scratching out my next manuscript
With a nail on a piece of tarpaper
Surrounded by the rafters my only friends
Damn it's hot up here that's it
D-A-M-N-I-T-S oh no no no no no

I thought life would change
When the reflection of my brain
Was put into a box and wrapped in cellophane
I gave mirrors speeches
Practiced signing my name
But all they do is look wont you buy my book
Won't you buy my book

Cruising downtown on the city bus
I pretend I'm easily recognized
I get off on heartbreak Boulevard
Call my agent but he can't remember my name
I'm out of quarters and they cut me off

So I walk on down to the PO Box
No fan letters no royalty check
Then I drop in to the bookstore
And buy another copy of my own book
I open it and find chapter 3 missing

I thought life would change
When the reflection of my brain
Was put into a box and wrapped in cellophane
I gave mirrors speeches
Practiced signing my name
But all they do is look wont you buy my book
Won't you buy my book