Marillion - Going Under Lyrics

Is it wrong to talk to myself even when there's nobody else
I'm just checking out that I'm not gone under the water
Thrown on the beach like a seal ready for slaughter

Can't you understand that the way things were planned
It never worked out so I just went crazy
I took to the drink, like something says its "maybe"

I ain't got no excuse and that's really the news
Got nothing else to say, that it's my way, it's always my way
I seem to be running away so often

I'll try anything once and that's the way we should be
But it's always the same getting caught up again in a habit
A habit I just can't shake off the way it always turned out

Can you understand it's the way I choose to be
Everything seems so easy this way but I'm going under fast
Slipping away
Am I so crazy