Flight of the Conchords - You Don't Have To Be A Prostitute Lyrics

Oh oh
It's a cold night
Beneath the street lights
There's a man whose pants are too tight
Oh no, his pants are too tight
(My pants are too tight)

He stands there
An empty stare
Trying to make enough money for his cab fare home
He'll have to walk home tonight
(Don't have enough for the ride)

The streets are cruel
He tries to act cool
He goes to work with only his work tool
You can put away your tool, Jermaine

You don't have to be a Prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a man-ho
A male gigalow
You don't have to be a Prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a night-looker, a boy-hooker a rent-boy bro-ho

He cannot see his way out
(I cannot my way out)
He can't see his way out
(Male prostitution seems to be my only option)
He can't see his way out
(I cannot see my way out)
He can't see his way out
No no no no no

He's selling cheap thrills
To pay expensive bills
But check your resume
You must have some other skills
Do you have any other skills
Like typing?

They see him, wanting to please them
Wanting to play him, but they don't even pay him
Oh no no
They don't think he's worth it at all

Though they are no one
He tries to bring them home
Maybe it'd be OK if he lived alone
Ooh you have a roommate, Jermaine
Don't bring them home

You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a man-ho
A male gigalo
You don't have to be a prostitute
No no no no no
You can say no to being a night-looker,
A boy-hooker a rent-boy bro-pro