Joanna Perricone - Growing Pains Lyrics

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains

I feel rough around the edges like a casserole
Always act quick, never take a passive role
Spent my teens and my twenties saying, "Pack a bowl"
All these feelings popping up just like its Whack-a-Mole
Yeah, tell me who you know that's more vulnerable than I
Cry so hard that I just drip dry
Blink for a second and the time just flys
Looking for Joanna but Joanna just died
I am not the same, I feel it overtly
Try to come clean, but i still feel dirty
Bathe in the water and the tub turns murky
Truth be told, I couldn't wait to turn 30
I am reading books trying to turn a new chapter
Me, I tend to lash out and analyze after
Spazzed out energy, nuclear reactor
One step forward, then twelve steps backwards

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains

Step back and reflect on the rockiness
Come to think about it, I was like the cockiest
Piped up, sort of like a lobbyist
All talk, no, really it was obvious
'Cause insecurity was something that was comfortable
Rose colored, everything was wonderful
Priceless, wish it was refundable
Don't need a therapist to call it dysfunctional
All Spacey and I fell like a House of Cards
Overlooked like a patron at a crowded bar
So alone, but seeking out a counterpart
Perked up, first time I encountered art
Because it's me and the music, we're like Bonnie and Clyde
We bump the bass and the volume every time that we ride
It's like the best stimulation, but that's an aside
And I am killing the game, but I am alive

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains

The weight is heavy 'cause the past is always taunting me
Yeah that stint in Celentano 1 is haunting me
All the shady things i did for people wanting me
I look back like I should of had autonomy
I look up at the stars that's astronomy
And when they bury me I want to go honorably
No father, just a man that's coming on to me
Spill my secrets and they're picking up velocity
Self doubt, well I deal with it constantly
I used to self medicate, yeah honestly
Its no wonder my identity was wobbly
No Spice Girl, I was just a "Wannabe"
Me first, yeah that was always policy
Hot shit, yeah thought I was a novelty
So promiscuous that I was turning crotchity
And if I ever did you wrong, my apologies

I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same
I am not the same anymore
Growing pains

Ready to board
Jam my baggage in the space on the floor
It's a surprise trip
And we're taking off from my mind's airstrip
I'm a code red, first class, A-1 flight risk
Come to think about it, I have always been like this
Emotions running free like a stallion in the wild
29 years, but I still act like a child
Never got a grip on what to do with all my anger
If I felt you slighted me, then I would wish you danger
Only seeing red, one sided situation
The hangar of my mind always seeking elevation
Say my girlfriend had even dared to disagree with me
That would be enough for me to cut her loose and set her free
Use to be surrounded by some cool individuals
One way or another I decided they were criminals
Social life and social circle started getting smaller
And letting people in subconsciously was harder
But I was racking miles, frequent flyer kind of shit
Kept a bag by the door to take off, flight risk
Wait a second captain, why's this plane empty
I'm searching for the flight attendant, breathing all heavy
This isn't the trip that I have taken in the past
I'm pretty jet lagged, so let's call it my last
As I'm walking up the aisle, I approach the cockpit
Reaching for the door, but nobody locked it
Look into the space to realize there's no captain
And no navigation, how the hell did this happen
Peer down and realize I'm in a blue uniform
Now I finally get it, I'm the only one to get me home
I grab the controls and immediately nose dive
Piercing through the clouds where my memories hide
I feel alive and now I've got the hang of this
I reach for the intercom, its flight 1986
Coming for a landing and I'm coming in quick
I'm a code red, first class, former flight risk