lil dimwit - a babysitter's lullaby Lyrics

I wrote this next song to help kids fall asleep when I babysit
What can I say, I'm good with kids
So the next time you find yourself babysitting
Here's a song for the children
Santa's not real, your parents are lying to you
Santa's not real, what they told you is not true
All of its lies the North Pole is just sleet and ice
Santa's not real, listen children and learn to think twice
I'm sorry you had to hear it from me
They fed you lies but now you're free
You asked me for the truth before
Unfortunately, there is some more
As an artist, you suck, your parents lied about that too
Your paintings are garbage, they have no idea what you drew
And your poor little dog is not on a farm like they said
That poor little dog, they lied, Chachi's actually dead
I know this all is very new but
Your parents love misleading you
They're not pure in fact their spotted
You may have actually been adopted
Surprise
Legally, they're required to keep you fed
Honestly, don't trust anything they've ever said
And storks don't deliver babies, it's something much less complex
The birds and the bees are mom and dad having sex
(Mr. Dimwit)
Yes Timmy
(What's sex)
You don't know about sex Timmy? How old are you
(Four and a half)
Okay as soon as I'm done singing I'm talking diagrams, videos, you're about to become A man
All the things they've ever said
They've planted lies right in your head
You think you're happy with your portion
They actually wanted an abortion
(What's abortion)
Ugh okay Timmy
Long story short you're a mistake and-
Your parents don't love you as much as they say they do
Most of the time they're annoyed because of you
They dislike your presence, they really love being alone
So when you are older, you should really put them in a home
(What's a home)
Can you stop asking- Fine
It's not a home like where you reside
It's a place to put your parents aside
Like a hospital but way more sad
But not dealing with them will make you very glad
It's the perfect revenge for not letting you run with knives
They'll waste away in the final years of their lives
And you'll never visit, although you promised you would
You'll tell them you love them, but it won't do any good
Then they will die, at last, they will be gone
You'll bury their bodies in a box that worms chew on
Then one day your kids will throw you in a home or a ditch
Because you were just like your parents, man isn't karma a bitch
Okay goodnight Timmy
Don't let the bedbugs bite
Those are real
Sweet dreams

I wrote this next song to help kids fall asleep when I babysit
What can I say, I'm good with kids
So the next time you find yourself babysitting
Here's a song for the children
Santa's not real, your parents are lying to you
Santa's not real, what they told you is not true
All of its lies the North Pole is just sleet and ice
Santa's not real, listen children and learn to think twice
I'm sorry you had to hear it from me
They fed you lies but now you're free
You asked me for the truth before
Unfortunately, there is some more
As an artist, you suck, your parents lied about that too
Your paintings are garbage, they have no idea what you drew
And your poor little dog is not on a farm like they said
That poor little dog, they lied, Chachi's actually dead
I know this all is very new but
Your parents love misleading you
They're not pure in fact their spotted
You may have actually been adopted
Surprise
Legally, they're required to keep you fed
Honestly, don't trust anything they've ever said
And storks don't deliver babies, it's something much less complex
The birds and the bees are mom and dad having sex
(Mr. Dimwit)
Yes Timmy
(What's sex)
You don't know about sex Timmy? How old are you
(Four and a half)
Okay as soon as I'm done singing I'm talking diagrams, videos, you're about to become A man
All the things they've ever said
They've planted lies right in your head
You think you're happy with your portion
They actually wanted an abortion
(What's abortion)
Ugh okay Timmy
Long story short you're a mistake and-
Your parents don't love you as much as they say they do
Most of the time they're annoyed because of you
They dislike your presence, they really love being alone
So when you are older, you should really put them in a home
(What's a home)
Can you stop asking- Fine
It's not a home like where you reside
It's a place to put your parents aside
Like a hospital but way more sad
But not dealing with them will make you very glad
It's the perfect revenge for not letting you run with knives
They'll waste away in the final years of their lives
And you'll never visit, although you promised you would
You'll tell them you love them, but it won't do any good
Then they will die, at last, they will be gone
You'll bury their bodies in a box that worms chew on
Then one day your kids will throw you in a home or a ditch
Because you were just like your parents, man isn't karma a bitch
Okay goodnight Timmy
Don't let the bedbugs bite
Those are real
Sweet dreams