The Hold Steady - Charlemagne in Sweatpants Lyrics

When he's holding them, the streetlamps, they seem an awful lot like spotlights
Yeah, sometimes Charlemagne gets uptight
Running numbers between bars, running girls between the cars
And sometimes Charlemagne feels alright, alright, alright

Charlemagne had eyes just like a lover
Last winter there was weather and his eyes they iced right over
Hey, Casanova's in the corner and he's asking for a dance
Speed shooters driving 'round and coming down
And trying to hook up with an entrance ramp

Tramps like us and we like tramps
Yeah, Charlemagne's got something in his sweatpants

Yeah, Holly was supposed to be at CCD
But she was walking around on shady streets
She was looking around for something she could take up to a party
And it's not like she's enslaved, it's more like she's enthralled
She don't need it but she likes it, yeah, so she always makes that call

First it makes her feel tall
And then it makes her feel small
And it's all a sweet fleeting feeling
We did the "Been Caught Stealing" into "Dancing on The Ceiling"
And you're damn right we danced
Charlemagne's got something in his sweatpants

Do you want me to tell it like it's boy meets girl and the rest is history
Yeah, or do you want it like a murder mystery?
I'm gonna tell it like a comeback story
'Cause when we left we were defeated and depressed
And when we arrived we were ripping high
We had a gun in the glove box
We had some sweet stuff stuffed into our socks
And Jesus Christ in all His glory